I played with Lee and Gabrielle in the County Ladies Senior 3BA at the Cotswold Club today.... I knew it was not going to be a good day when I hit a beautiful drive heading straight for the pin on the 1st Hole, which used to be the 10th, and it plugged in the back of the bunker just under the lip. I got it with the sand iron, it flew over my head and hit me in the middle of my back whilst I was still bent over .... 2 shot penalty! You know the "Bricklayer's Lament"? It did not end there. I put my sand wedge and putter away and climbed the bank to the next level of the double green , left my trolley on the side and turned to watch the girls putt out ... 4 for 2, 4 for 2 excellent !! We then went to get our trolleys, or rather Gabrielle and Lee got theirs and walked over to me .... my trolley was gone!?!. Quelle Horreur!!
We looked behind, we looked in front, and in the far far distance sharp-eyed Lee spotted a black and red brolly which could be attached to my trolley. Leaving the girls to tee off on the 2nd, I sped across the 2nd fairway and the distant driving range to the outer reaches and found my trolled upended in the long grass on the edge of the driving range amongst the trees ... with the wheels spinning on full revs. What a relief, I pulled the trolley upright and turned off the power, ignored the brolly that was inside out and covered in mud and leaves, picked up the 9 wood head cover on the ground nearby and rushed back to join the girls on the 2nd tee. Struck a rather sorry drive, but the following 3 wood was good. As we walked down the 2nd fairway towards our balls, I sorted the brolly out so it didn't look like an upended rain catcher and went to put the 9 wood head cover on ..... the club that wasn't there!?!
No panic, I raced back across the driving range to find the errant 9 wood whilst Lee & Gabrielle took their 2nd shots. Club retrieved from base of tree in long grass and raced back to 2nd fairway. This sorry tale has not yet ended ......
On returning the 9 wood complete with headcover to my bag, I became aware that the PW, SW, 9 Iron and 7 Iron were all missing!!! Can I remind the reader that it was raining when the forecast said it wouldn't, the brolly was up and the bag cover was on .... all of which restricted my view of the clubs in the bag.
No panic, Lee called the next group through, then we all raced across the driving range to the outer edges to search for the clubs disgorged by the trolley as it took a circuitous route through the trees and long grass.
Here I must apologise to the solitary male golfer hitting fantastic drives down the range only to find 3 mad ladies dancing around in the outer limits of his finest drives.
With 3 more clubs retrieved and only the PW still lost in the long grass, we returned to the 2nd fairway and waved the next group through as they played up towards us. We played out the 2nd hole and moved on to the third tee. I must thank my playing partners for their support and help in finding clubs and the restorative supplied by Lee, that tasted remarkably like brandy, but only a drop.
Normal play resumed with some lovely shots played by all; the greens could have been kinder and the holes more welcoming. As we moved on to the back nine, which was the old hilly front nine, the sun came out, what a lovely day .............
UNTIL .... the battery expired on the steep rise up to the 15th green. All that gallivanting at full power had taken its toll. No problem, battery loaded on to Lee's trolley and I survived the next few holes without having to expend too much energy pushing that "expletive deleted" trolley around.
Oh Motocaddy, I fear your top button control and I are not suited ..... oh bring back my Powacaddy to me!!!
My grateful thanks to Lee and Gabrielle for their fantastic company on a day that we will long remember. My thanks also to the Cotswold's Lady Captain who took a buggy to search the far reaches of the driving range for my missing PW, which was eventually handed in by ladies who found it on the 17th (which I think might be the new 8th). Did I mention that this was a County Ladies Seniors event? .... I suppose a degree of senility could be expected.
Monday 15 September 2014 (a day to remember)